


big

by shouyoto



Series: eight letters [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 05:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15429966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouyoto/pseuds/shouyoto
Summary: Kageyama is big.At first, Shouyou thought it was annoying. At first, it had been a constant reminder, a buzz to his ears on how simply unfair the universe was since he had aged a few months older than Kageyama, and yet, somehow-somehow,he's still the one who ends up with the shorter end of the stick. But much like their bond, this impression didn’t last long either....Shouyou finds himself fawning over Kageyama's big build.





	big

**Author's Note:**

  * For [todoyamas (octorina)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/octorina/gifts).



> this is a gift for the loveliest rina <3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOSERINA, i did this fic in one seating... it's also v impromptu too but i'd do ANYTHING for u (hence my love is bigger) are you proud of me. BUT ANYWAY it's a little late ik but i hope you've had a great day of your birthday, I LOVE YOU

Kageyama is big.

Shouyou knows this. In fact, he’s known this for a while now, and yet, each time the thought comes to him through the beat of a pulse, his breath stills in the air, entirely suspended in fascination.

There's so many things about Kageyama that makes him big. His hands, for one, then the two of his legs, the breadth of his back, and the prevalent aura– though impalpable– too he'd radiate has also been big enough to take up a whole space.

At first, Shouyou thought it was annoying. At first, it had been a constant reminder, a buzz to his ears on how simply unfair the universe was since he had aged a few months older than Kageyama, and yet, somehow- _somehow,_ he's still the one who ends up with the shorter end of the stick. But much like their bond, this impression didn’t last long either.

It starts when one day, Kageyama takes a spot next to him beneath the orange skies and setting sun. He’s towering as ever in his grand posture, even as he looks into the green view. When Shouyou turns to him, head craned up, his thoughts zip away at the sight of Kageyama all wrapped in warm colors like a summer gift from his view. It's then, he starts to feel his annoyance slowly dwindling down into an interest.

However, it doesn’t end there. He starts noticing more things then, things he knows he won’t ever have locked into his mind a few months back. He starts noticing how the shirt at Kageyama’s back would stretch over his muscles as he moves, or how'd would slightly bend and lean over to hear whatever Shouyou has something in mind to say.

When Shouyou realizes this, he's quick to backpedal. Whenever Kageyama comes too close, he puts a little distance between them- a small step to the side- but he doesn’t always do this, because he knows it’d raise a suspicion. So, when they do wind up being closer than they should be, he tries not to mull over the difference in their size, tries not to be aware of it, but it’s hard not to when Kageyama is there, taking up so much space, being all so big, _tall_ and imposing and oh, so very warm by his side.

It’s like this then his interest has rapidly grown into fascination, where he finally allows himself a second or two to look over and appreciate Kageyama’s build.

And it goes on until one day, it gets out of control. It isn’t only fascination, because this time, there’s– there’s  _something_ playing a part as well. One day, Shouyou starts to have daydreams, night dreams. He dreams about his hands entirely enveloped by another certain pair. He dreams about being held, of curling into a big warm body as it keeps him from harm. He dreams about the image of sunset, of highlights splashing onto one’s skin, one’s hair and one’s blue eyes.

This time, instead of backpedaling, Shouyou goes for a full brake. He stops. He doesn’t look, he doesn’t stay, he avoids, goes when Kageyama comes near, and doesn’t go to the place where they have their usual lunch at. But, it's another matter when they're on the court, it’s safe, he has volleyball to pour all his thinking into and so does Kageyama, too, even if he seems more tight-lipped and tensed. It’s beyond the court's boundaries that’s the dangerous zone.

But, this act of avoidance only goes on for a whole few days and even then, he'd barely say it was a success.

Practice has ended a little late at dusk. The two are the last ones to head out after piling up the balls into the cart, and as they head to the club room together, the tension among them is dire, evident as they change; it’s there to fill in the blank of their exchange, stubbornly stagnant, sprouting, and at last, it only evaporates when Kageyama is the first to leave the room.

After dispelling a sigh of relief and pulling up his bag closed, Shouyou has gone to the railing to retrieve his bike when he notices he isn’t the only one there.

Kageyama is there, too, waiting for him.

Shouyou stalks forward, resolute in paying no mind to Kageyama whose gaze continues to fixate on him. It stays on him as he grabs onto the bike’s handles, it’s still on him even as he starts to open the padlock. But soon enough, he finds himself in a glitch, especially under wary eyes that's observing his every move. His thoughts have flown so far away that even the simplest thing for him to do starts being a challenge.

He hears footsteps approaching from the side, softened eventually as the loud heartbeat that’s his own take over his ears. His hands are shaking, he feels nauseous knowing what would be coming (‘A punch,’ he thinks, ‘or a confrontation. _A fight.’)_ and he thinks of resigning to his own fate and doom when he feels a sudden warmth encasing him from behind then two hands helping him to unlock the chain. The metal rattles as it hits the railing.

He starts lowering his hands down to the side but the two big, warm hands on his own stops him from doing so.

By now, his heart is beating a rhythm louder than a drum in his ears, and there’s the start of cicadas sounding in the distance and the howling of a night breeze blowing through. The lamp post a little far ahead has just flickered on its light as well. It’s only them now, partially enshrouded in blue, cold darkness of the approaching night.

And this moment… it’s _everything_ and _nothing_ he’s imagined. When Kageyama presses onto him from behind, grip on his hands so tight, he feels warmer than he thought he would be, and he’s definitely so big that he can envelope him wholly by now if he wanted, but– for some reason, at the same time, Kageyama feels _small,_ too.

Slowly, he tilts up his chin, head pushed back, and there, he sees Kageyama’s own eyes peering back into his. And he knows why, now– why he’s sensed the absence of that piece that usually makes him feel big just as he is physically. It’s because of that look-– Shouyou knows that look. The tone of it, the way the lamp light reflects off of it. It’s the kind of look when Kageyama wants to correct something that he’s wronged, a lesson learnt from the errors of his past. Shouyou feels a thorn of guilt pricking him.

“You…” Kageyama starts, slowly. “You were avoiding me.”

“Yeah.” Shouyou simply says. He doesn’t know what else is there to tell.

Kageyama puffs out a cheek full of air right into Shouyou’s face. “Why?”

“Because of this.” Shouyou’s hands twists a little, and so, it’s his turn to clasp onto Kageyama’s just as tight. “I’ve... imagined this.”

“This?” Kageyama repeats confusedly, face entirely scrunched. But Shouyou gives him a little more time, and finally, the creases in his face starts to loosen up as he thinks, slowly paving a path to one of a look which Shouyou describes it as realization. “Oh,” Kageyama says. _“Oh.”_ He says again.

“Yeah.” Shouyou breathes out a laugh. _“Oh.”_

“I thought… I did something.” Kageyama says, then sighs. That look is gone now, and Shouyou is swamped with a feeling of ease. He feels Kageyama beginning to untangle his fingers from their grip, but Shouyou is quick to pull his hands up, puts them onto his hips with the fingers digging into his side and he's turned with his face buried into the softness of Kageyama’s jacket. His hands reaches out to tug onto the fold of Kageyama’s sleeves.

For a minute, they stay quiet until Shouyou says, “I was scared.”

“Why?” Kageyama asks again.

Shouyou just muffles into the cloth, “You’ll think I’m weird. For thinking about this. For imagining this.”

Kageyama snorts. “Not like that'll change. You’ve always been weird.”

Shouyou pinches him, and Kageyama pinches him back. He’s hit with the overwhelming urge now, to tell Kageyama the entirety of the truth to his avoidance, but then when Shouyou tips his head, chin pressed into Kageyama’s chest, he finds himself loss at words and takes to enjoy the view he has like last time as he stares at him from below. Kageyama is pretty, even in the shadows of the sun, with the moon hanging atop. He still looks so cool, and handsome, and captivating, and Shouyou really, really likes this view.

Kageyama stares back at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” He says, “You’re kinda pretty.”

Kageyama’s face flushes. His hold on Shouyou tightens, and Shouyou just grins.

He lets himself have this moment, basking under the warmth, the weight, the size of Kageyama overall who’s pressed up entirely against him. He decides that being smaller is okay, after all, and that Kageyama being all big and tall, and though it used to be _not_ okay, it’s now much more than an okay. It’s a _very_ okay.

He wonders, if he does tell Kageyama at all how much he likes this, that he likes how Kageyama is bigger than him, how would he react? He'd probably look gloated at first, be smug even about it, so yeah, maybe it's not such a good idea and he probably shouldn’t tell him about it at all. Well, for now, at least.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [ twitter](https://twitter.com/shouyoto) and/or on [tumblr!](https://shouyoto.tumblr.com/) thank you for reading ♡ i might consider on doing another chapter or more...


End file.
